Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, not for those we forgive. You have every right to your anger. And you have a right to make Curtis' memorial whatever you need it to be. Still, I'd suggest letting go - if possible - of your justifiable anger to those who weren't there when he was alive and show up now with crocodile tears.

Then again, that's easy for me to say. It's your pain, and how you choose to carry it is up to you.